BE a Spreader

Letter #3 of a series...

Lesson #3: Spread kindness and, in doing so, humanize others.

Dear Future Grandchildren,

When I was growing up I hated shopping. Now, your grandfather would LOL if you told him this because he has seen me do quite a bit of shopping during the last few decades! It’s true though.

As you would expect, most of my early shopping experiences were with my mom, your great-grandmother, Phyllis. She was a big-time shopper so we went often. I remember going to the local mall (Do malls still exist? Google it.) and heading to one of our favorite stores. Once inside we would split up and do our own shopping then circle back to find each other after a bit. Well, every time I would go to find my mom she’d be talking to someone. It could be one of the workers at the store, another shopper, or someone she ran into who was a friend of a friend of a friend. I would wait quietly by her side until they were done, but many times the conversation went on for so long I ended up waiting outside of the store so I could sit down!

My mom talked to everyone. The boy who bagged her groceries; the neighbor she ran into at church; a kid who graduated with my sister; anyone who was from Philadelphia; and the list goes on and on. She didn’t care what they looked like- fat/skinny, light-skinned/brown-skinned, pretty/homely- nor did she care what their social status was - rich/poor, educated/simple, professional/blue collar. She chatted with the school janitor with the same smile and vigor as she did with the school principal.

I’ll never forget when she was in pre-op for her ovarian cancer-prompted surgery. What justly could have been a very stressful time filled with quiet contemplation was instead filled with moments of chatter and laughter. You see, Phyllis was continuously gabbing... with every doctor, nurse, and technician; the guy who brought her lunch into the room; the lady who came to collect the trash…literally everyone! Sometimes her first question was “Are you Italian?”, and, luckily, the Philadelphia area is full of Italians so she got a 'yes' quite often! But, most of the time she started with a compliment like “Oh, you have beautiful brown eyes” or “What a nice smile you have”. These words of sincere kindness got the conversation started and she'd often proceed to chat with them about their kids, the Eagles, the weather, or any number of subjects.

Looking back, I am utterly amazed at her unwavering positivity and her purely equitable spread of kindness. She acted this way throughout her whole life because she loved connecting with people. The older I get the more I realize that it was a blessing for me to witness her spreading kindness daily. She not only showed me through her actions how to be kind, but she also humanized people. By treating everyone with the same degree of kindness, she taught me that we are all equal...that we are all human. There are so many wonderful things I have to tell you about my mom, your great-grandmother, Phyllis, but if you remember one thing about her, let it be her lifelong, genuine acts of spreading kindness.

Did you know that everyone who witnesses an act of kindness benefits from it? Their mood is improved and they are more likely to also perform an act of kindness! So, be like Phyllis and spread kindness equally and fervently throughout your life time. Her legacy is one that is worth continuing.

Love,

Nana XXOO

PS: Your other great-grandmother, Sue, was so much like Phyllis in this way - super kind and super gregarious with strangers and friends alike. Seems like you are genetically destined to BE a spreader of kindness!